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Thanks for stopping by
Hi! I’m Hil
Lover of mountains, hiker, voracious audiobook listener, watcher of hummingbirds, creator, artist
The beginning
When I launched this website in mid-2024, I’d been chosen to attend a LoveYourBrain (LYB) Retreat that fall. It’s free for attendees thanks to what they call pay-it-forward fundraising. While attendance isn’t contingent on my fundraising, LYB does ask we fundraise for future retreat attendees, just as was done for us.
I designed several stickers specifically to help with my fundraising goal. Thank you to all who generously bought those special edition stickers or donated.
Almost 10 Years Ago
I was in a car accident that resulted in a traumatic brain injury (TBI). After several L O N G years of appointments, specialists & therapies I was somewhat improved, but still really struggling with daily living. Kind of on a whim we moved to Colorado. Fast forward a couple more years . . . one summer I had the idea for an experiment — to see what impact spending time off-grid in the mountains might have on my healing. That first year I started without expectations of how long my experiment would last or any results. I ended up spending 15 weeks in the mountains and it had a more positive impact on my healing journey than I could ever have imagined.
Our mountain life was born, along with my desire to find ways to share it with others. Small ways others might experience some of the same benefits I do when I’m in the mountains.
My first experience with LoveYourBrain
One recommendation experts agree on for improving almost anything brain related is meditation. I had a meditation practice prior to my TBI, but just could not figure out how to meditate post injury. Every few months or so I would try again, with no success. Then, somewhere I saw LoveYourBrain was offering a 10-day meditation program geared towards people with TBI and figured it was worth another try. It worked! I was able to start my meditation practice again which helped with multiple areas of my healing.
LoveYourBrain Retreats
LoveYourBrain holds several retreats a year for people with brain injury. Demand for the retreats is high & spots are intentionally limited, so the first few times I applied I was not chosen. But this year I was chosen for an interview. During the interview it came up that I’ve applied before & how I am a believer everything happens for a reason, and in its own time. I shared that this year is my 10 year brainiversary, and during the interview realized it lands right at the end of the retreat! I think we both got goosebumps and shared the sentiment this was meant to be.
This fall I get to attend the week-long retreat completely free (cost $3000/person) thanks to pay-it-forward fundraising by previous attendees. Over 5 days, I will experience the science-backed benefits of the LYB curriculum, the core pillars of which are mindfulness, movement, nutrition and community. In a safe space we will explore what it means to love your brain. And I’m looking forward to the retreat to learn about others’ experiences, take new practices into my next 10 years of healing, and bonus reason, each brainiversary is different & this will be an ideal place to grow from whatever surfaces.
How are you now?
When you see me I probably look fine. I mostly rest and practice restorative activities on bad days, for my own health and so others don’t see my bad days. I still struggle with several executive functions, reading (so thankful for audiobooks) & writing, lack of energy, organization, flares from screen time (yep, this website took months), brain fog, memory loss and processing information on a huge delay, to give you an idea. I can figure things out, but it often takes so much longer, not to mention then actually doing said thing. Life is slower. Not necessarily bad, but can be frustrating.
I’ve gotten to a place I’m grateful to be exactly where I am. Do I wish I’d never been injured? Yes & no. I grieve my previous life — it was a pretty good life & I lost a lot. Identity, friends, busy restaurants, football games, flying, running & riding a bike, my 40s, feeling like I’m contributing to others. But I’m so thankful for this slower version and experiences I wouldn’t have otherwise had. Just in the last couple of years I’ve noticed a shift from fight or flight survival mode 24/7 (my brain had my sympathetic nervous system in constant overdrive) to adapting & thriving. I noticed I felt normal (a new normal, but still progress) for about a week several months ago! Working out how to adapt is an exciting challenge for my brain. It’s still a work in process, but I have hope I’ll figure out my “thing“ and how to use it to help others. Right now I’m enjoying this creative side of that’s recently emerged/re-emerged, and being able to share it with you.
happy • hiking • healing
turned into a kind of mantra for me that first season of my experiment. One day it dawned on me how down on myself my internal voice was as I huffed & puffed through shorter, easier hikes. I made a conscious effort to change that voice to encouraging words. It worked! And not just when I was hiking. That’s one of several ways hiking has helped me heal.
Hiking has also built my confidence as I navigate challenges on the trail. Some hikes new to me the challenge might be navigation (or exploring, aka getting lost, and finding my way), or figuring out ways to safely get across tougher terrain, or dealing with animals (mostly unruly off leash dogs & their owners). By successfully navigating these challenges I started trusting my brain again. Slowly I was also able to strengthen my physical stamina & do things I wondered if I’d ever do again.
Hiking has taught me to find adaptations rather than just not doing. It has completely transformed my healing journey.